Can you do me a favor? Please stop using the words, “All I do is…”
Words hold tremendous power. And those four words can lead you to believe that your unique gifts, your very “is-ness” is lacking in some way.
Let me share a story with you about Karen. Karen is a successful writer and artist today, but she shared with me that it took her a long time to break away from the believe formed in her childhood that she had to achieve something important (by her parent’s definition) to be considered “enough.” She grew up in a home situation that gave her every opportunity to explore her gifts. She was encouraged to find ways to use them. But it was a life focused on achievement, and that was the problem.
To an outsider, Karen’s life seemed ideal and included a very supportive family. Yet, there was more. Besides the support, there was a steady dose of critique questioning how well she was living up to her potential. This led to years of chronic self-assessment and judgment.
Karen has many gifts. One of them is the gift of helping people to verbalize difficult emotions. She uses this gift with family, with friends, as a Spiritual Director, and as an Al Anon sponsor. In fact, she has been sharing this gift with others since she was a teenager. Still, because this gift came so easily to her, she felt for a long time she wasn’t sharing anything of value. She continued to long for her “big why” or purpose. Her favorite negative self-talk started with “All I do is…”
With the help of a good friend whose gifts must have included wisdom, today Karen realizes how very important her gifts are to those around her. He shared with her that her gifts seemed inconsequential to her because they came so easily to her. But for those who struggle with finding the words to express sometimes difficult emotions, Karen’s gift is desperately needed and tremendously valued.
What about you? Have you ever used those four words when talking about your gifts?
I invite you to take a couple of minutes and try this exercise. Think about a time when someone thanked you for something you did and you felt surprised. It didn’t seem like such a big deal to you. Your action or words came naturally. But what you did meant a lot to the other person. Now think about other times when you have used this gift. Maybe like Karen, you’ve been using this gift since you were very young. Can you remember the name of the person you shared your gift with in these instances?
How does it feel to visualize the faces of the people you have touched just being who you are?
You make a difference in the lives of the people around you. Mr. Rogers (Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood) says:
If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person.
Love yourself. You’re worth it! Share your gifts with those around you. You make such an important impact in their lives.
Want to stay connected? Email me at sally@stretch4success.com to be added to my newsletter list. Or, Like my Facebook page to receive special offers on my book, Say Yes 2 Your Life and information on upcoming workshops and webinars.