I don’t believe he was.
I’ve read this scripture passage many times in my life. I’ve heard numerous sermons and had countless conversations particularly with women who question whether, like Martha, Jesus would tell them in their busy lives that they had not chosen well.
“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10: 41-42)
In my experience, women more than men (sorry guys) experience guilt over not doing enough. We drive ourselves so hard to try and achieve all that we expect of ourselves always chasing the elusive balance we hear so much about. So, when we read this scripture from Luke, it is easy to feel guilty and conflicted at the same time. We’re trying to be there for our family and friends, do our jobs, take our kids to all of their activities, do the laundry and grocery shopping, and all the other tasks of daily life and then we hear that Mary, sitting and listening to Jesus “has chosen what is better.” Is the message we are supposed to take away from this scripture that we are to sit, pray, read our bible, and let the laundry pile up? Are we supposed to feel guilty that we are busy with the wrong things?
As I continue to seek to discern God’s plan for my life, I have come to understand this scripture as an invitation. An invitation to let God show me where I am called to serve him. An invitation that if I say yes will give me the greatest joy in my life every day.
Martha is busy about the things Martha believes are important. Jesus has come to dine in her home and what will he think, what will her other guests think if everything is not perfect. Have you ever had guests over and spent so much time worrying that everything would go well that you don’t even remember the conversations with your family or friends? Have you ever been so distracted with the logistics of the events of family life that you miss the chance to be present to your family? I certainly have.
Notice that Jesus doesn’t say anything to her about her choice until Martha expresses dissatisfaction with the situation. Jesus was not telling her she shouldn’t be doing what she was doing. However, Martha’s focus on making everything about the meal just perfect was not making her happy. Was it really that she wanted Mary to help? Possibly. However, based on my experience I think it is also possible that Martha just did what she had always done, taken charge of the situation and did what she thought needed to be done. Then, seeing the contentment on Mary’s face, she felt a desire to experience that peace and contentment herself. She expressed annoyance at Mary’s choice but really desired what Mary had.
When Jesus tells Martha that “Mary has chosen what is better,” he was inviting her to shift her focus. He does this for us as well. What is God calling you to at this time in your life? Are you distracted by your own plans? Are you missing an opportunity to experience real joy by taking action before you hear His voice?
One of the hardest parts of discernment for me is listening. Like Martha, I so often get an idea and then think, “Yes, this is what God wants me to do,” only to have to backtrack because what I thought I was being called to do did not make me happy. At times I have even tried to stay on the path and figure out how I could make it work so that I could do whatever it was I thought I should be doing for God. I’m smiling as I write this because I have come to understand that the only way I can experience true joy in my life is by, like Mary, listening first.
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