What does it mean to live in a “no comparison zone?”
Today I woke up, spent 40 minutes in meditation, got ready to work, and began responding to emails and getting my day started.
In that first 2 hours of my day, I thought to myself:
- Why can’t I seem to get serious about losing weight?
- What am I going to tell my accountability partner about why I didn’t accomplish all the tasks on my list?
- Should I take on another ministry activity or spend more time promoting my speaking business?
And this was a quiet morning!
In 2005, the National Science Foundation published an article regarding research about human thoughts per day. The average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 95% are the same repetitive thoughts as the day before and about 80% are negative.
Living in a comparison free zone does not erase the negative thoughts we have each day. I wish it did. However, living comparison free has changed my thoughts, improved my self-esteem and my relationships. A year ago, the first 2 hours of my day would have sounded like this:
- What is your problem? You used to be thinner? Everyone you know can lose weight. Why can’t you?
- I’m sure my accountability partner got all her tasks done. Why can’t I be more like her?
- You’ll never be as good a speaker as Mary. You might as well fill your time with other activities.
I hope you can feel the difference between the messages I sent myself before and after I learned to live comparison free. The first statements hold me accountable. While perhaps not positive, self-affirming messages, they are not filled with the judgment and critique I used to tell myself.
Living an authentic life allows you to live comparison free. You claim your gifts and recognize that when you use your gifts, you make a difference to those around you. You stop spending a lot of time and energy trying to be good at things that are just not your gifts. You can say out loud, “My gift is listening. I don’t have to be funny too!”
Because you love and accept who you are including your weaknesses, you have more energy and passion every day. You are “in the flow,” there is no need to compare, and you begin to see more and more opportunities to share your gifts with those around you.
I was at a networking event the other day and Jean was giving a presentation. She shared how much she loves to budget and organize. It’s her thing. She told us, “If I liked to exercise as much as I like to budget and organize, I’d be in great shape.” We all laughed. That’s authenticity. Jean is proud to claim what she is good at and acknowledge her weaknesses. She might like to change those weaknesses but she is not beating herself up. Her weaknesses are part of who she is. Like Jean, we’ve all got them.
Would you like to join me and live comparison free? It’s a process but it can be done. The first step is to identify your gifts or what I call your “is-ness.” As you own your gifts and see the difference you make when you use your gifts, you start to let go of the need to “fix” yourself or anyone else.
In my new book, Say Yes 2 Your Life: Journey to Celebrate Your “is-ness,” I guide you on the same journey I took to let go of comparisons. You will:
- Identify your unique gifts
- Recognize how you have already been using these gifts to make a difference to those around you (even if you didn’t realize it then).
- Understand why it is so important to you and everyone around you that you share your gifts.
Look at the people around you – your family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, the people you see at the mall, or at the park. You touch the world around you, person by person. And you are the only person who can bring your gifts the way you bring them. Even if there are 100, 1,000, or 10,000 people with the same gifts as you, each of us has our own is-ness because our gifts are influenced by our life experiences. And no two people, even siblings from the same family, have the same life experience. That makes each person’s is-ness unique. (Say Yes 2 Your Life, pg. 75-76)
Live comparison free. Say yes to living your authentic life and give yourself the gift of feeling positive and energized every day. Order your copy from Amazon today.